Hello There!
I am still in a relatively good mood, and am excited about future prospects I have. However this doesn't mean that I will be in a good mood everyday. Tomorrow my classes start and I am not going to lie I am so scared. I have spent the past few months being down on myself, not being very motivated not being productive, and now tomorrow I just have to fall back into that same old routine.
I should never have fallen out of the routine in the first place, which I feel really guilty about that, because I shouldn't be this freaked out because I have done it all before. I guess I just feel a bit pathetic. Nonetheless I am trying so hard to keep thinking to myself that I can do this and that I am prepared to do these things. I guess its just daunting because it is the first week and I just have to fall back into it. Even though that may be a little difficult at first I am sure that I can get through it.
There are lots of different worries floating around in the back of my mind, but like I said yesterday I am happier that I have been in a while, I am starting to worry more about the things that effect me day to day, rather than thinking too far ahead and panicking about things that I really have no control over. I know that this all sounds very cheesy, I am just trying so hard to keep this up and not let the stupid little things get in the way of me being happy.
I still doubt myself sometimes, and I am pretty sure I have already pissed of my house mates a couple of times by saying negative things about myself. But I am gonna keep trying to work on those things. I am proud that I can try and help myself and open myself up. Things don't change overnight but I have already come so far in a week, who knows where I will be in a month or a year. But I just hope I remain happy and positive and try to put myself first.
Sorry that this was short post but I didn't want to overload this just yet as there is lots and lots more to come! Here is the song for today,
Till tomorrow
HK.
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