Wake up you need to make money!

Hello!

Well I am still not feeling great, didn't sleep to well last night, and then woke up with a headache so that was great. Things are starting to feel more and more stressful and I am trying my best to keep my cool. I think I am succeeding so far.

My feelings are a bit mixed at the moment, I am happy because I am going over to my friends again soon which is exciting, and gives me something to look forward to. However I am kind of sad because It will probably be the last time I see any of my friends from home for a while, and most of them I can't even see because I can't even afford to get the £3 train to go and meet up with them. I seriously do hate money. A normal person would say I hate money when I don't have it. Which is true it sucks that nearly everything we do in life is limited to money, but I hate having money too, because then you have to consider what you do with it and how to keep it. I was actually talking to my mum the other day about billionaires, after we watched some show on TV, because I do not understand what billionaires do with their money I mean I get that they invest in businesses or expand their own business, but after they have done that what do they do? Why do they need a house with 23 rooms and 11 bathrooms? No one needs that amount of money, a percentage of that is enough to live on for a lifetime. When did the world just become so greedy.

I know this is me just having a random rant, and I am hypocritical, because of course if I won a few million in the lottery I would do the usual boring thing, go on holiday, buy a nice house, give some to my family. Money just makes the world go around, ultimately it is why we choose do to what we do, I am in university to further my education so I can have a career and in turn make more money. Sometimes this just makes me confused and sad because in the near future I am going to have to make some difficult choices, and its going to be because of money. 

I see my mum struggling day by day working hard, but when she gets paid its gone in an instant, bills, food, and then poof its gone. When it comes to money nothing really seems to add up (excuse the pun.) because the cost to live in certain areas doesn't match up to the cost of the wages you get paid. This doesn't make sense to me, Money scares me. I know this sounds strange and irrelevant, but right now money is my main worry, it is probably what is stopping me from sleeping. 

I have been told all my life, been fed ideals through TV, movies, music, that you have to do what makes you happy, follow your dreams. But the harsh reality of life is that you need excellent circumstances to be able to survive and follow your dream. This is why money scares me, because if I am not careful with it, I will have to let go of my dreams, put them aside so that I can have a roof over my head. I just really don't want to screw that up, because if I can do what I want to do then I think I can succeed at it, and go far, I am willing to work so hard to get there. 

I guess only time will tell. 

I am sorry this was a bit random and ranty, but sometimes you need to get these things off of your chest. And if you haven't guessed from the title the song for today is this....Enjoy! 

Till tomorrow :)