Best Friends with Doubt.

Hello!

I am writing this a lot later than usual because I spent the day with my mum at the seaside which was lovely, We took our 2p's and went to all the arcades (didn't win anything which sucks) but it was still fun! I am glad that we both could let things go for at least some of it, and development we did talk about pretty big stuff about me moving back out and the past and the future. Over all it was just really lovely...And here's some photo's to prove it!

Lemon ice cream!

That's my mum...losing...hehe

Sea! (I live in Wales it was not warm enough for people to be swimming...madness!)

However, as much as I would love to make this a post all about my nice day down the seaside, that is not what I started writing this for. I mainly started writing this because I wanted to ramble about how I was feeling and what was going on in my head to try and help myself, because I am getting fed up of not dealing with myself. 

So anyway, the main issue that is bothering me at the moment is the fact I am getting bouts of insomnia, now this sounds like something scary and big, and it can be in some cases, but sometimes people have insomnia and don'e even realise it. Basically it's to do with sleep, well lack of it. It can be anything from just having difficulty falling asleep to having an interrupted sleep. Now this isn't the first time that I have had some insomnia and it will probably not be the last. There's many causes of this, and I'm not a Doctor so I don't know all of them I can only speak from my own experience, and the cause for me is stress.

Yes that awful word stress that we all can't escape from. I must sound like a broken record but it is like that my brain just is constantly doubting my plans and decisions, I am starting to think that I have no hope that anything I plan will go right. This I know is stupid because it is not the end of the world, I have made sure that nothing major can go wrong, and even if it does I am pretty sure I will not be left in a rut on my own. However I am one of those people who would rather soak up everyone's problems and issues and help them than deal with my own. Now this I think is one of my best traits, because I am genuinely very empathetic and care about people, but that being said I build up this worry in my head. I need to have more confidence in my ability to help myself as well as helping others. See I think, emphasis on the think, that I am a good person and a good friend sometimes and that I good give advice. But now I am just one of those frustrating people that can't take their own advice. 

Nonetheless like I said above I had a very good chat with my mum today about lots of random stuff but it made me feel good that she didn't laugh or roll her eyes when I told her about the stuff I want to do in the future. I am not 100% sure why I think she would of but sometimes I when I am researching and planning stuff I do say to myself can I actually do this? I am still not sure but only time will tell, I can't see my stress levels going down any time soon, I am moving back out in just over two weeks, I am so not prepared. I think I am going to do a proper organise tomorrow, get sorted I think if I write things down - as I have mentioned, It kind of reaffirms plans in my head and then maybe I will stop worrying about everything. 

And my song for today is this....Because you just can't beat a bit of E.L.O.

Till tomorrow...