I used to waste my time dreaming of being alive.

Hello there!

I am actually getting a bit excited now for moving out, of course I am still nervous and scared of being lonely, but I have been messaging my friends who I am moving in with and it is just nice to talk to them and kind of have a sigh of relief that they are nice people and this year is going to be better than last. 

I am still thinking that things will go wrong, but most of me is now thinking of al the things I can do and all the good things that can happen! Which I am really proud of. Take today for example it has been a hectic day of finding everything, all my clothes that I am going to take, and washing it ready to pack. I had a few tough decisions to make, like which DVD's I can fit in my bag, yeah that was really tough! But despite the hecticness and the little things going wrong, and the planning of money and what not, me and my mum were having a laugh and just getting on! This kinda shows that despite the little worries that eat away at my brain, that is all they are little worries, in the grand scheme of things they don,'t matter. I have one major goal for this year and that is to live, and experience things. Okay I am not going to go bungee jumping or climb a mountain, but I want to push myself out of my comfort zone and work hard. 

This all sounds like cliché nonsense when I write it out, but I am being honest this is what I want, I spent the longest time regretting my first year of Uni, the opportunities I missed the friends that I didn't make. So I am telling myself now that I am not going to let this happen. Of course I am not going to be a party animal, I am not going to get drunk every night to get a thrill that isn't what I mean, I just want to say yes to more. Join more societies and actually go without anyone judging me for doing what makes me happy. If I want to stay in and binge watch YouTube, if I want to go out to a club, or if I just want to study really hard, I can because I make my own decisions for me. I am going to try and stop feeling guilty about the things I say, or the way I am, because like I said yesterday all I ever try to be is a nice human being, so if people don't like me then that is there loss! 

I have said this before and I will say it again, for the longest time I was letting somebody always take control of my life, because I was scared of making my own choices, and being at fault, letting people down and feeling that guilt that fills me up. I need to start taking control and not be scared to mess up, because that is just a part of life and inevitably I will probably be proud of myself for messing up because I taught myself something. Again this is sounding like a really bad cliche but maybe that is what this world needs, I know that I can and frequently am a cynical person, and its hard to be anything other than that when we look at the world today, but maybe if we focus on the little things, and build up we can just be happy. Stress is not worth it, and it is beatable. Anxiety is not worth it and it is beatable. Depression is not worth it and it is beatable. I hope I can be living proof of that, because I am still going, I can see the silver lining, I can calm my self down, and I can tell myself to get a grip. I am not saying I am cured, I still have my bad days, but the truth is I didn't need a doctor, or councillor or boyfriend to save me and tell me how I should live my life, I just needed to figure things out for myself, and think for myself. 

So here goes. Tomorrow will be a hectic day of packing and checking things off a list, but on Wednesday I will be moving out of my family home and moving in to my new house, and starting again. I am going to try so hard to make it worth it. That is a promise. I am sorry that this is very cheesy, and I don't even know if it will make sense to anyone, but I need a little cheese in my life! I love cheese (metaphorically and physically) so just get over it and enjoy this song :) 

Till tomorrow. 

I don't want to lose my faith in humanity

Hello there!

so today this post was originally going to be a happy post because I got a lot done today in terms of getting things prepared to pack and move out, and I have been laughing all day with my mum about silly things and it has just been a day where even though things aren't going extremely to plan and there are a lot of things to be negative about we weren't and just got on with it with a smile on our faces. However my mood was changed at ten o'clock this evening as I watched the news like I do every other day, and the same thing happens I get annoyed. See I am one of those people who has strong opinions and gets passionate and angry about something, but I am too scared to say anything because I also consider myself to be a nice human being so I am scared to offend anyone because I don't know everything I don't have all the facts lined up on a sheet of paper and have made the right calculations to get to my opinion. I am just another human being living on this earth that most of the time doesn't like the way we treat each other.

So before I go off on my rant I just want anyone to read this to be aware of that, I am just me, I don't know statistics, or know every single fact that there is to know, all I know is what I have seen,heard read and how I feel about it.  I have gotten anon hate on Tumblr before because I posted support for LGBTQ community, because I am a heterosexual it seemed that I could not sincerely support a cause that is close to me. So this makes me scared to voice my opinions, or feelings on big topics because I don't want to offend anyone, in actual fact I am trying to do the opposite I am trying to convince people that there are some decent humans left in the world. So anyway after that disclaimer I am still a little reluctant to write this but I am really disappointed in the world, and this blog is about me trying to figure myself out and be honest about how I am feeling, so here goes.

The headline of the news, as it's been for the last couple of weeks is the 'Syrian Refugee Crisis', there are millions of people trying to flee a conflict that has been going on for four years, where people have lost their homes, there sense of security and at worst their lives. The first thing I which annoyed me about the new I watched tonight (bearing in mind I live in the UK) is that on several occasions the broadcasters referred it to the refugees as migrants, and they are two separate things- A refugee is someone who has no other choice but to flee their home country, because of lets say a devastating conflict, a migrant chooses to leave their country to maybe find more opportunities in another country. This annoys me because the news gets away with calling the refugees migrants because most of the refugees have not been given refugee status, and there are a small percentage of migrants who are also travelling on boats to Europe, but the majority ARE refugees and have no choice but to escape their country, because a chance at a better life is better than staying in a midst of a devastating war. 

So when the news says migrants are coming over to the UK, this in my opinion gives the wrong impression, we are more inclined to sympathise with the phrasing of refugee than we are to migrants, because unfortunately I believe the UK and Europe are still being very xenophobic, so you hear the word migrant and our xenophobic nation panics, oh no we can't have more of them over here we need to sort our own people out first before we help others. This just makes me feel ill and makes me sad to be British, because we are all human, and if the tables were turned we would expect help, and equal, fair treatment. Which we aren't giving to these refugee families. We are actually making it ten times harder for them to have any quality of life by placing more restrictions by saying we have to be sure that they are refugees and not migrants trying to illegally enter the country, because you know when you are forced to leave your country because your home is destroyed you really have the time to get the right documentation in order. So this is why the refugees are using risky ways of travelling just for the hope that someone will help, but we don't we throw another bit of red tape at them and they have to move on, no human deserves to be treated like that. There is no excuse. 

As I said above I don't know every single statistic of the situation, I have my own opinion based on what I have seen an read, but to me we as a nation, and extending our duty of care to the whole of human race, not just who we deem 'our own' because there is no our own, we are human that is it. 

I am sorry that this post was not the happy, positive post I wanted it to be, but I am so saddened and disappointed in the world, because I want to have faith in us as a species but the truth is I don't because in today's world it seems like we just keep on making up more and more rules and barriers to stop us uniting, and frankly that scares me. Equality is accepting people because they are different, not discriminating or coming up with excuses to why we say or treat someone in a certain way. 

I have a very simple philosophy and I have said it before, I want to be happy and make sure those around me are happy too. I also just want to be nice, yes I am sarcastic and I rant and moan, but the truth is I just try to be a nice human being, which I think people forget to be, because they have an agenda, or they want to prove something, but just try and be nice, it sometimes just frustrates me so much because I don't see why it is so difficult to just be nice! 

Anyway I am sorry that this was a ranty, and a heavy topic of discussion but I just needed to voice it. The future sometimes seems so bright and full of opportunity, and then other times it seems so dim and scary. I just want to remain hopeful, but as I watch the news daily it is hard to see the silver lining. But my thoughts are with those suffering across the world, I just wish I could do more to help.
I don't want to lose faith in humanity, I want others to have more faith and speak up, you are allowed to disagree with things and have an opinion, just don't use it as a tool to hate someone.


Till tomorrow.

Being Weak, But strong...

Hello there!

Reality that in three days I will be moving back out and left to my own devices again in 4 days is hitting me hard. Obviously I have known for a while and I hate that I am getting so scared over something that I have done before. As I have mentioned before my first year of university wasn't the best and in hindsight this second year should be magnitudes better because I have chosen who I want to live with and I am feeling in a better place emotionally, I feel like I can be a lot more organised and structured when it comes to money and my work load. So I should be over the moon and have a really positive outlook on it but still the fear of going back to that life, because what I experienced of it last year wasn't amazing, far from it, it was extremely difficult and stressful, so it is hard to escape that frame of mind. 

There are lots of thoughts going through my mind, negative ones of what can go wrong, I am worried about the work load, and leaving my family and friends again. The work is going to be a lot harder, and I am determined to be more focused on my work and not get distracted too much (except for doctor who that is a perfectly acceptable distraction) but I know it is going to be harder, I am worried that I don't really remember anything and I am going to make a fool out of myself. 

Packing is stressful too, if you have ever moved out you will know that no matter how much you think you have organised, how many lists you've made, packing is just a stressful process. You have to make sure you have everything, but not over pack, and you have to make sure you check, and double checked that you haven't forget anything. I haven't started packing yet, me and my mum will probably start small tomorrow, just finding stuff and getting it all together, the thought of this is daunting because it is up to me, and I worry that I will get on my mums nerves if I am indecisive or if I haven't thought properly of what I need to take with me...but I think I have thought of most things...I think.

See I hate this!! I constantly do it and it is annoying me but I doubt everything I do, or second guess myself...grrrr!!

Anyway there are positives to all this it will be nice to move in with people I like and get on with, I just hope that we will get on living together but I can't see why we wont. Also it will be good to have a proper routine again, I have missed that, because this summer I haven't really had a purpose to get up and do stuff, which is not fun. I am excited for my new classes, hopefully they are interesting and that I like them, but I am going in positive! Also one of my brothers recently moved to a town that is only a 20 minute train ride away, so I am hoping that I can see more of him! 

All I can do is keep thinking about these positive outcomes that follow me moving out, think about the bigger picture of it all and hopefully these will outweigh my little doubts and insecurities, which in four days will be over and probably replaced with other worries, but I have to keep thinking of the bigger picture and try to blur out these doubts. 

I am not going to lie because I am scared and I am stressed, but it is not the end of the world, I know it seems so tedious and selfish of me to be moaning and complaining because I can have a good education and a roof over my head, and in the grand scheme of the world I live in luxury so my I shouldn't make a fuss. However we are all human, and we all have our different problems of all different sizes, and sometimes its just nice to have faith that you have someone out there that will listen, so that you don't beat yourself up inside your mind, because if I had continued to do that and not open myself up to anyone I would of been a lot worse. 

Here is the song for today....

If you have a worry that is nagging at you, and it wont go away, don't let it rule your thoughts and let it out even if its small, write it down, tell someone, anyone, just make it a physical thing that you can cast out of your mind. 

Have a peaceful night 

Till tomorrow. 

Hello, this is my face...

Hello there!

So today I wanted to something a little bit different again,  as I mentioned in a previous post my self esteem is quite low, and I have a low opinion of myself when it comes to appearance as well as other aspects of myself. Today was one of those days where you kinda want to forget that there is a world outside and just be in your own bubble...however I was venturing outside to go to the shop where my mum works and walk back with her. This then got me thinking about make up and how much effort I do go through just to go to the shop, where I am out of the house for 20-30 mins, and it seems ridiculous and people say to me, mostly my mum, why do you need to wear that you are only going to the shop. 

This annoys me, for a lot of reasons, (be prepared for a rant) it seems that now adays there is so much stigma around wearing make up, how much you should wear, where should you wear it blah blah blah, I say screw it. I like make up, I like the ritualisation of putting on make up. I also feel comfortable with make up on and I feel like it makes me more confident in myself. So I don't get what the problem is. Now the thought of doing what I am doing scares me, and that just shows how uncomfortable I am when I have not got make up on, so below is a picture of me make up free. (ahh!!)

scarrrrrrrrrryyyyyyy

I keep my skin clean and try to look after it as best I can but as you can see, I have dark under eyes, spots, patches of oilyness,(you can't see that well in this photo) you know the things that every person suffers with. And there is that thing where people say you don't need make up you look fine without it, which sounds like ooh what a nice thing to say,but this annoys me too, because I personally believe that it is okay not to like certain things about yourself, in this case your face, Its okay to notice your flaws and accept them, don't hate them all the time just accept that they are there, become comfortable with them there and if you want to make an illusion to change them then why the hell not its your face! I feel that all around today its like accept your natural beauty and I am all for that but lets face it black eyes and spots are not beautiful, that is just my opinion but I mean they're not, and I know this and don't want to live in ignorance and just pretend they are not there. But I can notice them accept that I have these flaws and just deal with them, this maybe to do some concealing, but also enhancing features you do like about your face.

I know to most people I seem ungrateful when they tell me I don't need make up but they don't understand that I do it for myself, so I can feel comfortable and not constantly worried if I look oily, or if they are going to notice the deep dark bags under my eyes. I like my eyes, they are naturally big, and I like the colour of them, but the darkness under them makes them look dull and detracts away from them, so I hide one flaw to enhance what I actually like about myself. Mascara I think changes everything, If I had to I could probably ditch every other make up product and just use mascara because this is what really makes me look human and brings my eyes to life. 

I don't mind my freckles, but because I have some redness and an unbalanced skin tone they look muddy and just make my face look dirty, so a thin layer of foundation evens out my skin tone and can let some of my freckles shine through.

Make up is thought of to just be this covering up thing, this liquid mask you can put on your face, but it isn't, to me it is this tool I can use to make myself more confident and feel better about myself. If someone doesn't want to wear make up its fine, but I do not envy them, like I said above I love the ritual of putting make up on, the different stages, and I love to shop for make up products, I know that to most people that may seem stupid, but it is just like anything else I am passionate about. I mean I know from the outside its like Keeley why are you having a rant its just make up, but its not because if you have low self esteem and you find something that makes that even a fraction better and takes the edge off you want to cling on to that thing for dear life!

I could honestly go on for hours, I wont, but I just want to say that make up is my holy grail because it is a quick fix to make me feel better, I can't over night fit into that dress that's a dress size too small, or put some concealer on my love handles, but with make up you can instantly feel better about the way you look, even if it is in a small way.

So the next time someone you know has make up on, weather it be a shimmery eye shadow, or a new red lip stick, instead of asking them why they are wearing it, why not just compliment the time and effort they have taken to enhance their natural beauty, so below is a picture with the make up I wear pretty much all the time, cool tip headphones not only supply good music whilst putting on make up but they keep my hair out of my face too! (apologies for the photo I can rarely take a serious photo)

Me with my basic make up! Yay! 

I am sorry that that was a bit ranty and a bit different but I needed to share this opinion I have, and hopefully I am not the only one that thinks like this!
Here is my song for today...Enjoy!!

Till tomorrow!

I like stuff...and it makes me happy!

Hello there!

So today I kinda woke up not in the best of moods, I just felt a little bit poop, so I thought I would make a post about things that just make me happy, mostly to cheer me up and to maybe share more about myself. Some of these are random, and are mostly just silly little things that make me smile! 

Here goes!

1. DOCTOR WHO!!

This had to be number one, and since the new series is starting in 9 days (which I am totally unprepared for!) I had to put this in! Doctor who for me is just this thing that can be nostalgic and new at the same time, and I love that. I have been a Doctor who fan since 2005 since the reboot, and I am a proud whovian! 

10 years worth of collecting!

2. DVD's/movies in general

As it is probably becoming more obvious I love films, I love going to the cinema, talking about films, reading about films, and I also like collecting and organising DVD's, I know everyone is practically all about netflix and online streaming, and that's great I love that to, but there is something to me about having a collection, and the whole ceremony of putting a disk into a DVD player and leaving it on the menu screen as you go get snacks and get comfy! I dunno maybe I am just weird but it makes me happy! 

3. Lego! 

What more can I say! I love Lego, unfortunately I don't have a huge collection of Lego, because it is not cheap, but I have quite a few really good sets that I have accumulated over the years, but most of that is sadly in a suitcase with my brother ready to be transported to my new house! But I got this cool set for my birthday! 

Don't ask me why the flash is standing on the front of the batmobile....

4. Books. 

Again there is not a lot I can say about this because nowadays pretty much everyone reads and enjoys books, well I kinda hope they do! See for me this caught on late, I don't mean that I have only just started appreciating books but you know most avid readers start in early childhood but I think that for me in early childhood I was reading animal encyclopaedia's with my dad and I didn't really appreciate really good literature until I started studying it in school, especially in secondary school when I had the best English teacher who introduced me to the book below, and it has remained In my top books because not only did it make me want to read more books of the same author but it makes me think of my English teacher and how she thought it was cool that a 14 year old would be so into Henry James! so yay! 

5. Comic Books.

Yes. How can you not look at the picture below and think that is beautiful! Anyway...I started reading comic books actually not that long ago maybe 3 years ago? My brother used to read graphic novels and he had a few comic books lying around when I was young, but never really an extensive collection, we got our daily comic book heroes from the TV, with the old X-men and Spider-man cartoons! I remember that the first comic book I bought was from a supermarket, it was a fantastic four one, and another one, They were like on number 29 or something stupid like that and I had been wanting to buy a comic for so long I hadn't really thought through the whole series system but I bought it and just fell in love! (even though I was slightly confused with the story line) But I stil love comic books I don't have much time to buy them but one of my lovely brothers has kept my collection going and even managed to get me signed comics! So happy happy happy!!

These are just some that I have re-read recently. 

Now we get on to the slightly random things.....anyway 

6. Going to live shows! 

The atmosphere, the whole process of buying a ticket and waiting for that date to come around! I just love it all! I like most Live shows but music events are what make me the most happy, so much so that I would love so much to be a part of an event team, just so I could stand back watch a performance and think I helped them put this show on.....oops...went in to dream mode then....yikes. 

Most recent tickets

7.  My journal/organising book thing....

Yes, this houses all my lists, goals and dreams, and the odd rant...even holds a secret Tardis!
Also featuring my batman Pyjamas....(I am so cool)

8. This Fridge.

I know I could make some joke about how that's where the food is..ha ha ha...but I actually just love that my mum has covered it in cook fridge magnets and really cure pictures! 

Featuring my have brothers...yes I have five brothers....(that is an old school photo btw they are all older than me!) 

9. My laptop (ofc) and My headphones
Both a staple part of who I am! its not very often that I go a day without opening my laptop, or putting my headphones on. As you should gather music means a lot to me, so being able to listen to music whenever I like without pissing people off means a lot to me too! Also the stickers reflect a lot more stuff that makes me happy! 

10. And last in the formal list is YOUTUBE!
Obviously I couldn't make a list of things that make me happy without including YouTube, Its what I can ascape into when I don't feel like being sociable, its something that I can keep up with and just have a little dose of happiness, if I am watching a you-tuber, or watching the latest trailers for films, it just makes me happy!

So I am also gonna put in some honourable mentions, because you know tag line....I like a lot of stuff...

so yeah....random honourable mentions, I love the smell of playdoh, My cat Alan! Make up, I am not even sorry I love collecting make up and putting it on sue me! I love my collection of Disney plastic cups, because even though I am technically a grown woman I love disney. Coloured pens make me happy, this is because they make my scruffy lists look a little bit prettier. 

And finally, this card that one of my brothers got me for my birthday, because its amazing. 

Anyway I am sorry that was very random but sometimes when you think about all the little day to day things that put a smile on your face you can start to appriciate things more, and I am grateful that even the smallest thing like a plastic cup can make me so happy. Obviously there are more things in life that make me happy and more substantial things but this is just a glimpse at some stuff that I think I need to say thank you too! I know that seems weird, I can't thank a DVD but you know what I mean I just think without silly little things like this I wouldn't be keeley!

phew anyway Enjoy, and try and think what makes you happy, even if it is small! 

Just a little bit annoyed...

Hello There!

Today I am not so good at all. It seems that I may have jinxed myself with all the positivity, because today when I went to make an order of some stuff I needed to move out with I couldn't get them delivered to my new house, which was very annoying, and I know it doesn't sound like a major issue, and its not but its just the fact that I have been seeing everything, even particularly bad things in a positive light but it just seems like the universe was like no look even though you think you have planned every detail and sorted things everything can't go that smoothly so it fucks something up for me. 

Despite this being a small issue, and I know it sounds so petty of me to get so annoyed over a little thing but it has a knock on effect, and for me that knock on effect is money and the lack of it I have, this means I will have to wait till the day we move to buy stuff, before I have the right money, which means going into a shop with suitcases and bags, and its just stress that I could of avoided if things just went right. What is disheartening is that I love to be organised and I love to not just wing things, because of the thought of failing or letting someone down, but it seems that more stuff goes wrong when I do plan. I tried to not stress earlier, I was actually quite calm for a while thinking of other solutions, and I was proud of myself for a bit but then I was thinking of all the hassle this one tiny thing has caused because of all the knock on effects it has and then I just kinda felt a bit crap because like I said for someone who tries so hard to get their life in order, it seems like it has a way of screwing up something. 

I told myself at the start of this blog that I wanted to be more positive and stop expecting the worst, however life has proved once again that as soon as I start thinking positive and get my shit together something goes wrong and I am back to square one again. I know it seems like I am over reacting but someone out there must have this too, I think it has effected me so much because I have been in this good mood, I have been motivated and actually taking steps to understand myself better and make myself a happier person. This has just been a kind of kick in the teeth back to reality moment, where 

sometimes life just has to be unnecessarily difficult

I know I am making this sound so dramatic, and I am annoyed with myself that something quite tedious can push me so far. It has been resolved now though, kind of I have made new arrangements and I am going to try and plan how much things will cost against how much money I have tomorrow, I know that life is not easy, but that is why I make lists and try and prepare, and when you do that and things still mess up it kinda seems like your effort is pointless. Nonetheless I am going to keep making lists because that is just who I am and most of the time things go kind of to plan. 

I am not in the positive, motivated mood today that I have been in the last couple of days, and to be honest I am very worried that it is only going to get worse and more problems are gonna surface in the next week, I am trying so hard to push these thoughts out of my head and think positive and just say to myself don't worry if something goes wrong you can sort it out, but it is so much harder than that. 

Hopefully tomorrow I can get things back on track and get myself out of this vortex of bad thoughts, but I guess we shall have to wait and see. 

Here is the song for today, (I really love this song, it is a very big and dramatic song so be warned, but it is brilliant) 

Till tomorrow. 

Things don't always have to go to plan.

Hello there!

Today has been one of those days where nothing really goes to plan, I mean it's not like I had huge plan for today, you know like going outside. Nonetheless there are little things that I wanted to do, like I said yesterday I wanted to do more of my spreadsheets, to prep a bit more for Uni, I was also going to check out some of the new books that I will need for the new term, see prices and if they are worth buying or of there are alternative ways of me getting a hold of them. Also doing a bit of chores around the house, I do this most days but I kinda wanted to organise the bathroom a little bit because I have kind of destroyed my mum's bathroom with all my washing and crap. 

So you see I mean it was little things but in the long term may have been useful to me. However this didn't really go to plan. I woke up this morning at about ten and my mum was home from work, I as confused because she didn't have a day off and she usually finishes a lot later. Turns out she had come home a lot earlier because she wasn't well and had went back to bed. Now my mum is a stubborn and proud woman, so it takes a lot for her to actually admit to herself and her work that she can't do the day and needs to go home, so granted I was annoyed because she said she thinks she hurt herself yesterday lugging around stuff. This makes me so angry because her work really do just walk all over her, and she will moan and complain, but they don't really give a shit. They Know that she shouldn't be doing all the heavy lifting, she's a bloody bakery supervisor for christs sake not a fucking delivery driver. Anyway that is my rant over with. For now at least/

I did do some of my spread sheet and a bit of cleaning and organising, but no where near as much as I thought because I wanted to take care of my mum, make her lunch, keep her company and let her vent to me about her job, which I think she definitely needed to do. 

So today I kinda feel a bit useless, I know that sounds stupid because plans change and you can't live life exactly how you plan, but I felt like I was getting somewhere and motivating myself to do something that mattered even if it was small steps, it still felt useful. Where as now I have spent the majority of the day either napping (which was a huge mistake) or looking at clothes and make up on line that I definitely cannot afford. I have no idea why I do this, and what's worse is that I am not looking at designer stuff, there's no prada or chanel, I am looking at brands like top shop and river island, so in theory I can afford it when I get paid, when in actual fact I really can't. But I look at something and think, well that is doable, I can treat myself, squeeze that out of my budget. However I do that with everything I find that I like the look of, and then end up just feeling sorry for myself because there is no chance in hell that I will get those things....women. 

Honestly though I do just love mindlessly browsing at make up brands and clothes, its like I am making a mental list in my head of things I could buy if I had the money, I don't know why I am torturing myself like this but I think the logic side of Keeley says to herself  get that one thing, and start a collection slowly. Which I think is sensible, I know that this is a dangerous thought, because once you buy one thing you are like more more more, but to be honest because I spend most of my time just looking by the time it comes round to buying something I talk myself out of it anyway, so I don't think I am at a risk of losing control. But I really cannot wait to go shopping, it has been so long since I have just bought something that I really really wanted, just to make myself happy and to say you know what I think I deserve this. 

When analysing myself I think my diversity in personality traits is one of the things that I am most proud of, and probably the thing that confuses me too. The fact that you are neither one thing or the other, I love make up and fashion, but I also love games and comic books, I can help my mum get ready for a night out, and talk to my brother about up and coming films. I love that I have this duality that I can be the tom-boy that my brothers raised, but also the young woman that I taught myself to be. I think that is me, I will soak up another persons personality and work with it, If you are having a bad day, I will be caring and compassionate, or silly to try and cheer you up. Like today, when I went to bed I had an idea of what 'type' of Keeley I wanted to be the next day, the organising get things done Keeley, But things changed and I was the caring, listening Keeley. I know it sounds very odd to talk about myself like this, but I don't think it is a negative thing to be able to work off of someone's personality, I feel like it just makes me a more rounded person and a person that almost anyone could feel comfortable talking to? 

Anyway it is weird talking positively about myself, but if you read back previous posts you will know that I need to start recognising the good in me, and stop dwelling on the bad. So here's the song for today, dedicated to my mum, plus I love the album this is from...enjoy! 

Till Tomorrow.